Magic, Mischief, & Melancholy
by Jessica R Vance
Summary: Etcetera is missing! Jemima, Mistoffelees, Plato, and Victoria set off to find her. What else will Misto and Jemi find along the way?


Magic, Mischief, and Melancholy  
  
By: Jessica R Vance  
  
-----  
  
The warm scents of coffee and Chinese food drifted down the street, straight into my nose. I sighed, stretched, and stood up. Time for my daily morning patrol of the street of London.  
  
I scored breakfast in an alley behind the nearest Electro's. Humans are such wasteful creatures… I found half of a perfectly good anchovy pizza thrown right out. After my nice healthy meal, I began to plan out my day.  
  
Drop by the junkyard.  
Lunch.  
Dinner.  
  
Well, that was easy. It's times like this I love being a stray. I began to roam the street aimlessly, avoiding the clumsy, stomping feet of men and the adoring, stroking hands of women. As I stopped to groom myself, I heard a small voice whisper, "Misto!"  
  
I looked around to see a pair of bright orbs gazing intently at me from under a car. I smiled in recognition. "Jemima!" I sauntered over to her and we rubbed heads. "How are you?"  
  
"I've been better," she confessed. I did notice that she looked a bit down.  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked. I curled up beside her, ready to offer whatever kind of comfort that I could for my favourite little queen.  
  
Jemi waited a while before answering. Finally she replied, "… It's Etcy."  
  
I'm sure my face registered surprise. Nothing was ever wrong with Etcetera. She was one of the most carefree kittens I knew.  
  
Jemi must have caught my perplexed expression because she went on to say, "Oh no, there's nothing wrong with her…" then she added quietly, "I hope…"  
  
"Jemima…" I said cautiously, "You know you can tell me anything… you know that, right?"  
  
She nodded. Her lip quivered, and suddenly she burst into tears.  
  
My eyes widened and I slipped an arm around her shoulders, hugging her close. She cried on to me, her small body shuddering with sobs. As I whispered comforting nonsense into her soft hair, I wondered what in the world could be wrong.  
  
We lay there for Heavyside knows how long, she, crying her eyes out, I, purring and nuzzling her.  
  
Eventually, her sobs faded off into soft hiccups. I stroked her hair and whispered, "Jemi, what happened?"  
  
She drew a shuddering breath, trying to compose herself. "Oh, Misto," she cried dejectedly, "she's gone! Etcy's run away!"  
  
Run away! That was a surprise. What reason could Etcetera have for running away?  
  
"I don't know why…" Jemima continued, answering my unvoiced question, "but she has…"  
  
An idea formed in my mind. "Jem… do you think it could have something to do with-"  
  
"Tugger?" I swear, that girl can read my mind. "That's what I thought too… but I asked him and he said he hadn't seen her in a long time."  
  
"But that doesn't mean she hasn't seen him," I pointed out, "You know how she is."  
  
Jemima considered this. "That's true… she's always been very fond of him." Then she added with an adorable little smile, "But then what queen isn't?"  
  
I bit my tongue, my blood boiling. I had harbored a certain resentment against my friend, the Rum Tum Tugger, ever since the last ball, when Jemima had practically drooled over him. Not that it was Tugger's fault… he can't help it that every single queen in the tribe (well, except Demeter) finds him utterly irresistible. Well, the fact that he goes around shaking his tail in their faces doesn't help much. If I were Bombalurina, I'd give him a good talking to.  
  
Oh, Jemi was talking. "The last time I saw her, she seemed happy enough… she was going on and on about what Tugger had for dinner the night before… how she knew is a mystery to me…" I gave her a look. Then it hit her. "Oh Heavyside! Misto, do you think she's stalking him!?"  
  
"It's entirely possible," I said, "She's like the adoring fan of… what do the humans call them? Rock stars? I've heard that when human girls want to mate with these "singers" they follow them to their houses and watch them take their clothes off."  
  
Jemima stared at me, wide-eyed. "Wow… that does sound an awful lot like Etcetera… but why would she run away? Just because she likes Tugger?"  
  
"That's what we're going to have to find out," I said, trying to sound gallant. I stood, and helped her to her feet as well. "Come on." With that, we raced off to the junkyard.  
  
~*~  
  
Munkustrap stretched lazily and looked around. The Rum Tum Tugger and Bombalurina were curled up in the oven, caught up in a giggly conversation that Munku wasn't sure he wanted to hear. Victoria and Electra were taking a catnap in a corner, and every now and then, Munku would catch a glimpse of Pouncival and Tumblebrutus, chasing each other through the junkyard.  
  
Suddenly, he heard someone cry, "Munkustrap!!!" He whirled around to see Mistoffelees and Jemima racing toward him.  
  
"What's the trouble?" he asked as they stopped in front of him to catch their breath. He noticed that they both had rather disturbed looks on their faces.  
  
"Etcy's missing and we can't find her and we don't know why she ran away and we think it may have something to do with Tug-" Mistoffelees laid a paw over Jemima's mouth before she could say anything else.  
  
"Jemi, you're going to give yourself a heart attack if you keep talking like that," Munku warned the young queen.  
  
"She's just a little excited…" Misto said, giving his friend a strange glance. "But what she said is right. Etcetera's missing… we think it may have something to do with…" he looked around and, seeing that the very tom he was about to mention was no more than ten feet away, whispered, "Tugger."  
  
"What about Tugger?" a loud, boisterous voice said. Misto winced. When he was being given orders or being told something important, you couldn't catch the smooth-talking cat's attention for anything. But when something involved his name, he could hear you a mile away.  
  
Misto looked around to see the Rum Tum strutting toward him, a mischievous-looking Bombalurina trailing close behind. "Talking about me behind my back, my tuxedoed friend?" Tugger asked, sidling up to Misto, "I sure hope you're saying something good." Then he put on a smug grin. "Of course, what else could you be saying? There's nothing bad about me!"   
  
Rolling his eyes, Mistoffelees said, "Actually, Tugger, I was just telling Munku and Jemi about you and Exotica's lovely little walk through Regent Street the other day…"  
  
Bombalurina's eyes were the size of saucers. Hissing at her mate, she gave him a good swipe on the shoulder. Yowling, Tugger looked at her with hurt eyes.   
  
"Awww… come on, Bomba, you know I'd never do that to you!"  
  
Bomba glared. "Do I? I never know where you are! You could be out at all hours of the night with six or seven different queens following you around on your heels-"  
  
Tugger smiled and gave her a peck on the nose. "Nice to know you think I'm so irresistible that I could have that many queens after me, babe."  
  
His mate glared at him, but the hint of a smile was obvious under her feigned anger.   
  
"ANYWAY," Misto said, a bit annoyed at this delay, "I was actually talking about Etcetera. We haven't-"  
  
"Taking up with kittens now, Tugger!?"  
  
"Bom! Will you let me finish!?" Bomba quieted down, both surprised at the tuxedo tom's outburst and embarrassed at her own paranoia.  
  
"As I was saying," Misto went on, giving Bombalurina a stern glance, "Etcy's missing. Jemi here isn't sure where she could have gone… but we think it may have something to do with you, Tugger."   
  
Tugger's eyes widened. "I didn't do it! I swear! I'm no kitnapper!"  
  
"We don't think you did anything with her, Rum Tum!" Jemima exclaimed. "We just think that… well, you know how she is about you…"  
  
"Fanatical?" Tugger asked with a smug smile.  
  
"Something like that," Misto said exasperatedly. "Anyhow, we just think that she may have seen you and Bomba together at one point… and maybe gotten jealous…" Misto noticed that both Bombalurina and the Rum Tum were blushing heavily, and looking everywhere but at him and at each other. "Uh-oh… what did you two do!?"   
  
Tugger stared innocently at him. "What makes you think we did anything?"  
  
Misto glared at him. "Fess up, Tugger. Were you and Bomba doing anything at anytime where anybody could see you?"  
  
Tugger cast his eyes downward. "Well…"  
  
Bomba grinned seductively and purred, "It's not proper to discuss the kind of things we did with just anyone, Mr. Mistoffelees."  
  
"Bom!" Tugger was blushing madly. His mate gave a very unladylike snort.  
  
"You didn't seem to have any objections when we were doing it, 'big boy,'" she scoffed. "Why start now?"  
  
Misto, Jemima, and Munku watched the two bicker. "This is going nowhere fast," Jemi observed. The two toms nodded in agreement. Munku took a deep breath.  
  
"ALL RIGHT!" he bellowed. All action ceased. "You two are impossible!" Tugger rolled his eyes, getting set for one of his half-brother's famous immaturity lectures. "Don't roll your eyes at me, Tugger," Munku warned, "Or I'll sic Alonzo on you!"  
  
Tugger frowned and stuck his tongue out. "A waste of my time."  
  
Munku frowned at him as Jemima said urgently, "Can we please get back on the subject???"  
  
Bombalurina said, "OK, so just for the sake of argument, why would it matter if Etcy or anyone else saw Tugger and me together?"  
  
Misto sighed. "We think that… well, that maybe if Etcy saw you two together, she might get jealous and sad… and maybe run away."  
  
There was a moment of silence as the two mates mulled this over. "You may have a point…" Tugger said at length.  
  
Jemima's eyes filled up with tears. "So she *did* see you! And now she's run away and I'll never see her again!!" Through her tears, she glared at Tugger and Bomba. "This is all your fault!!!!!!!"  
  
Misto hugged her and glowered at the pair. "Look what you've done to her!" He gripped the small calico tightly and frowned protectively at anything within 5 yards.  
  
Munku gingerly patted his friend on the back. "Calm down a little, Misto… Jem will be fine. Don't you think we should be worrying about Etcetera?"  
  
Misto stared blankly at him. "Etcetera? Oh, right! She's gone, isn't she?"   
  
Munkustrap sighed heavily and put his paw to his head. "Yes, Mistoffelees, she's gone. Now please release Jemi so we can figure out what we're going to do." Mistoffelees reluctantly let go of the small queen. She sniffled.  
  
"What *are* we going to do?" she asked shakily, looking very much as though she'd like the comfort of a certain tuxedo tom's arms.  
  
"Well obviously, someone's going to have to go look for the little tyke," Tugger said, as though it were as simple as saying that the sky was blue.   
  
"I'm glad you volunteered yourself for that task, Tugger," Munku said, smiling at him. Tugger's eyes widened.  
  
"Me? Why me? It's not my fault! If I had known she'd react like this, I would have never…" he blushed, "Done anything in public." Bomba purred lightly and ruffled his hair.  
  
"Calm down, Tug," Mistoffelees said, "I'll go look for her." All eyes turned to Misto, including Jemima's, which were even larger than usual.  
  
"Why you, Misto?" she asked in a small voice.  
  
Misto shrugged. "I just feel… I don't know, like I should." He smiled at Jemima. "Of course, I have a few stipulations." At Jemima's questioning gaze, he said, "I'll only go if you'll go with me."  
  
Jemima's smile rivaled the Jellicle moon. "Of course I'll go with you!" The two beamed at each other until Munku cleared his throat in an unnecessarily loud manner.  
  
"I want someone else to go with you two."  
  
This brought up immediate contradiction. "Why?" Mistoffelees objected. "We'll be perfectly fine on our own!"  
  
"I don't think that Munk here wants the expedition to… go astray," Tugger said, exchanging knowing glances with his half-brother. Jemima looked back and forth between them confusedly. Bombalurina nudged the younger queen, wiggling her eyebrows at her.  
  
"… What?" Jemima asked. Bomba sighed and shook her head tiredly.  
  
"Never mind."  
  
Misto frowned and blew his breath out slowly. "So who's gonna go with us?" he asked. 'Please say someone who doesn't pay attention very well…'  
  
"How about Vicki and Plato?" Jemima suggested.  
  
There was silence as the Jellicle leader thought this over. "That seems good enough. Most of the adults will be busy for quite a while." Then he lowered his voice. "I'd appreciate it if you guys kept this quiet for a bit. I don't want any of the others getting worried."   
  
Tugger saluted. "Yes sir, sir!" With a stern glare from Munku, the lion-like tom laid his head down on his paws sheepishly.  
  
"So… I guess we'll get Vic and Plato and be off then?" Misto asked. Munkustrap nodded and the conjuring cat and the soulful soprano set off.  
  
~*~  
  
So I was off to find Etcy with Jemima. It was a shame that Vicki and Plato had to come along. Don't get me wrong, I like them just fine, but… it was an opportunity to be alone with Jemi! Why did Munku have to go and screw it up like that?  
  
Whoa, wait a minute there, Mr. Misto. You've got to keep your mind on the job, not the queen. I glanced at her, walking comfortably close beside me. She was so warm and pretty. I sighed and tried to make conversation. "Boy, that's pretty silly isn't it… Munku making us get kitten-sat? As if we alone couldn't handle this!"  
  
She smiled optimistically. "Well, at least we won't be by ourselves!" I frowned.   
  
'Exactly what I was hoping for, my dear girl,' I thought. We walked silently for a while, looking for our soon-to-be companions. I fidgeted. Jemima kept on walking, totally oblivious to my staring. I was sure that if she looked at me, my blush would have burned her face off. And I certainly didn't want *that* to happen.  
  
"Misto? Are you OK?"   
  
It took me a while to realize that she had been talking to me. I shook my head clear of all the fuzzies and said, quite intelligently, "Mmmm?"   
  
"I said, there's Vicki and Plato. Let's go get them." I stared blearily down the alley, following her pointing. Lo and behold, there was the couple we were looking for, curled up together and basking in the satiny glow of the evening.  
  
"Sure enough," I said, and mentally slapped myself. My tone of voice was revolting. Jemima must have thought I was the most terrible person in the world. The way I was talking, it must have sounded like Victoria and Plato were the two most despicable cats I'd ever met. In all reality, I just wanted a little time alone with my Jemima. At least, time enough to make her mine.  
  
We strolled down the alley and Jemima called, "Vicki!" The pure white queen's head shot up and she smiled at her friend.  
  
"Hello Jemima!" she said in her smooth, classy voice. "And Mistoffelees! This is a surprise!" Her mate's head slowly rose from her shoulders and his sleepy eyes focused on the pair. He grinned.  
  
"Misto! Finally get a little action, did ya?"  
  
There is a place in the United States that I have heard of called Las Vegas, where there are so many neon lights, you can see clearly even in the middle of the night. The lights of Vegas are *nothing* compared to the blush that lit up my cheeks at that moment.   
  
I turned away, mumbling something incoherent about how Jemima and I weren't together. Fortunately, the two queens had gotten caught up in conversation and I didn't have to explain anything in front of her.  
  
"So what's up?" Plato asked, seeming to, in the space of about three seconds, totally forget about the question he just asked me.  
  
I explained our situation to him, and he nodded and kept saying, "Hmmm…" When I finished, he sat quietly for a moment, then took a deep breath. I waited for a philosophical statement that would show that he truly earned his name.   
  
"Man, I don't wanna go!"  
  
I slapped my forehead with my paw. Lowering my voice, I turned him away from the chattering queens and said, "Do you think *I* want you to go? Come on, Plato, this could have been an opportunity to be completely alone with Jemima! Trust me, this wasn't my idea."  
  
"Let me guess. Munk?" I nodded. "That old codger. I don't think he *wants* any of us young cats to mate!"  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Actually, I can kind of see his reasoning. If I were left to my own devices with Jemi, I'd never get Etcy found."  
  
"That's true. You and your, uh… soft spot for her might have gotten a little sidetracked." I nodded. "But hey, just tell me at any time if you wanna line yourself up some canoodling and I'll take off with Vicki, OK?"   
  
"Canoodling?"  
  
"Don't ask."  
  
That seemed wise enough for me. I didn't. We turned back to the queens. Victoria was practically in tears. I imagined that Jemi had already told her all the details of our expedition.  
  
"Oh, that's terrible! Of course we'll come! And don't worry, Jemi, I'll be with you the entire time! There'll be no need to be scared, I won't leave your side once!" Plato and I exchanged glances.   
  
Wonderful.  
  
~*~  
  
So we were on our way, off to find the missing Etcy. Vicki and Jemi were chatting endlessly, and Plato and I moped along behind them, actually trying to do our job.  
  
"We've got no idea where to start, Misto!" he cried desperately. I nodded.  
  
"We've got to try and put ourselves in her situation, Plates," I said, "If you were a queen that was running away from jealousy, where would you go?"  
  
Plato thought for a moment, then said, "Well, I wouldn't be suffering from jealousy… no queen would be able to resist me!"  
  
I sighed and put my paw to my temple. "Plato, Plato, Plato…" I said.  
  
He just stared blankly at me. "What??"   
  
I gently cuffed him on the side of his head. "Think like *Etcy*, Plato. You and I love her to death, but she's not exactly in high demand with the toms." He nodded solemnly.  
  
Suddenly it looked as though he got an idea. The moment his eyes shot up to meet mine I knew what he was thinking. "Great Heavyside, Misto! Do you think she… you think she went…"  
  
"I don't know, Plato… would she do something like… oh Everlasting… we better tell the girls." We trotted forward a few steps to catch up with our queens and told them what we thought. Vicki looked on the verge of tears, but Jemi seemed more determine than ever.  
  
"Come on, boys," she said, "We can't let her to do that to herself. We've gotta find her."  
  
~*~  
  
This was always a bad part of town, and Etcetera had always hated it. But now, it seemed like a haven, a smoky, dirty place that called out to her and told her that if she really truly belonged anywhere, she belonged here. Among the lights that just seemed to make the alleyways darker, the smells that filled her nostrils and made her eyes water. To the humans, the area had many names. To the Jellicles, it was simply known as "Glamour Alley." It was the place where Grizabella won her name as the Glamour Cat, and her residence there was the reason the other Jellicles shunned her. Queens went to Glamour Alley for one reason: they felt unloved, felt as though no one cared about them, or that they'd never get a mate. They went there to sell themselves to toms, for a price. Mostly for food, sometimes for nice blankets or pillows to sleep on. But always for a price.  
  
~*~  
  
Plato, Jemi, Vicki, and I were running as fast as we could toward Glamour Alley. "Do you… really think… that… she'll be there?" Jemima puffed as we turned a corner.  
  
"I sure… hope not," I answered, "But if she is… at least we'll… be able to get to her…"  
  
As we rounded a corner, Plato, who was in the lead, came to a screeching halt, causing a four-cat pile up. I shook my head clear and was about to gripe at him for stopping, when I realized the cause of his abrupt standstill.  
  
A Pollicle was standing over us, growling, teeth bared. The four of us stared up at him, stupefied. Then as one, we screamed, toppled over each other trying to get away, and ran as fast as we could in the other direction.  
  
Behind us, we heard snapping teeth and a deep growl. "Head for high ground!" I shouted over the noise, "Someplace he can't get to!" We jumped up onto a few trashcans and leapt onto a low rooftop. It couldn't have been more than eight feet off the ground, but nevertheless, the clumsy Pollicle couldn't reach us. We huddled together on the roof while he snapped and bit as us from the ground. Eventually he got tired of us and slunk off, looking for new prey to chase.  
  
~*~  
  
With the delay of the dog and the fact that we had run in the opposite direction of where we meant to go, a good hour had been chopped off of our time. It was now around noon, and the sun was high in the sky. Much as I wanted to continue, the rest of my party was getting hungry, so we decided to stop and have a bite before continuing on our way.  
  
I couldn't eat. I was too nervous, too scared of what we would find when we went to find Etcetera. If she really was at Glamour Alley, there might not be anything that could bring her back. There may not be anything that could convince her that Tugger wasn't the only tom in the world that was worth her attention.  
  
"'Ave a bite, Mih-to," Plato said, his mouth full, as he offered me a piece of the sandwich he had scrounged. I shook my head.   
  
"Not hungry," I muttered. I was a little angry at all of them, even Jemima at the moment. It took a lot for me to get angry with her. This did it.   
  
"Misto, you're not going to have any strength to find Etcy if you don't eat something," she said in that sweet little voice of hers. Even when I was mad at her, that voice could do wonders. I saw the logic in what she had to say and nicked a piece of Plato's sandwich.  
  
~*~  
  
"How much longer till we get there?" Vicki asked. We had been running for a while and the girls were getting tired, so we decided to slow our pace a little.  
  
"Just a little bit more, love," Plato said soothingly. I glanced at Jemima to see if she was having any trouble. She was still trooping along, a slight look of fatigue on her face, but not complaining. I should have guessed that she wouldn't say anything.  
  
"You all right, Jemi?" I asked.  
  
"Just fine," she answered, "A little tired, but… fine."  
  
I nodded. "If anyone gets too tired, don't be scared to say something," I told everyone, "We won't be much help to Etcy if we're too tired to talk." They nodded, but I could tell that none of them had any intention of stopping.  
  
~*~  
  
When we finally reached Glamour Alley, we stared in shock at the task that lay before us. It was bigger than any of us had thought… and finding Etcy would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. By this time, the sun was sinking low into the western horizon, and my companions looked in need of a little shut-eye.  
  
"Let's rest here for the night," I offered, "We don't wanna venture inside the alley yet… we'll just sleep outside it." I looked around for some means of shelter for the night. Spying a fairly large box, I motioned toward it and we all clamored inside.  
  
Vicki and Plato curled up together in one corner, leaving quite a bit of space for Jemima and myself. I took another corner for myself, thinking that Jemi might like the space. The next thing I knew, I felt a small, warm bundle of fur curl up beside me. My eyes flew open and I saw Jemi there, purring. I smiled and buried my face in her fur, content to be so close to her.  
  
~*~  
  
In the middle of the night I woke suddenly. Jemima's voice cut through the darkness. "Wouldn't it be nice to be like that, Misto?"  
  
Sleep still half-fogged my brain, so what she was saying didn't register. "Huh?"  
  
"Like that," she nodded toward Victoria and Plato, who were comfortably intertwined and sleeping like kittens.  
  
Parts of my brain still weren't working properly. "You mean sleeping?" I asked, muddled. She gave a cute little giggle.  
  
"No, silly," she said, practically purring, "To… you know, be with someone. To have a mate, like they do."  
  
"Oh," I muttered, feeling very stupid indeed, "Uh… yeah, I suppose it would be."   
  
She gave a little sigh, and there was silence for a moment. I was just about to drift back to sleep when she said, "Do you think we'll ever be like that?"  
  
Her question made my eyes shoot open and the fur on the back of my neck stand on end. Did she mean… did she…? My mouth opened, but no sound came out. I think I squeaked.  
  
"Oh, I don't necessarily mean with each other," she said, answering the question my mind was frantically asking, "But I mean… ever. With anyone."  
  
My mouth slowly closed. "Oh Jemi," I sighed, "There's no way in Heavyside that you're ever going to be alone your whole life. I mean… you could have any tom you wanted." I grinned. "And I can't think of a tom in his right mind who wouldn't want you." I felt her sides vibrate with a little purr.  
  
"And what about you, Misto?" she asked quietly, "You don't think *you'll* be alone, surely?"  
  
I carefully considered my answer. This could be a perfect time to confess that I wanted to be with *her*, that she was the one that I wanted to be my mate. Or I could just make a complete fool of myself while doing so. I decided that it might be a better idea to keep my mouth shut.  
  
"Oh, I dunno, Jemi," I said, "You never know." Laughing bitterly, I continued, saying something that I had been wondering for a while anyway, "I mean, what queen would want to be with me anyway?"  
  
She turned over to face me. "Misto!" she said reproachfully, "How could you say something like that? I… I mean… what queen wouldn't want to be with you? You're talented, you're popular, you're sweet, you're very cute…" she trailed off, obviously realizing that she was saying all of this out loud. We were both blushing in the most blushingest way possible.  
  
I averted my eyes from hers and stared at the ground, chuckling a little, "Wow, Jemi, I… didn't think you paid that much attention to me." I glanced up at her. "I didn't know any queen did, what with… Tugger around and everything."  
  
Her brow knit. "What do you mean?" Then it seemed to dawn on her. "Misto… you mean you think none of the queens like you, and they all like the Rum Tum?"  
  
I nodded. Jemima stared at me for a moment, her mouth open in shock. "Misto… I… I'm… I'm awfully sorry you think that…"  
  
I shook my head. "No, it's OK," I said, "You don't have to lie to me. I know how things are." She frantically shook her head back and forth, her ears flopping.  
  
"Misto, no! Tugger… he's just…" she sighed, trying to put into words what she was thinking, "He's… like a picture, you know? Pretty to look at, nice to have around, but… you wouldn't want to spend your life with just a picture, would you? No! And no queen would either, except Bomba of course. We… we just like looking at Tugger, that's all. None of us are actually in love with him." Then she sighed again. "Well, except Etcetera, I suppose…"  
  
What Jemi was saying made perfect sense. I smiled gently at her. "You mean…" I said, hope rising in my voice, "That… some queen actually *could* like me?"  
  
"Of course she could, Misto," she answered, returning my smile, "Of course."  
  
Without another word, she turned over and was soon fast asleep.  
  
~*~  
  
The next morning I woke up feeling strangely refreshed. Everyone else was already up, sitting together and having breakfast. "Morning, Misto!" Plato greeted me, "Sleep well?"  
  
"Yeah, I answered, "What's for breakfast?" Plato handed me a bit of toast.  
  
"There ya are, mate," he said, "The finest we could find."  
  
Just as I began munching, we heard an unfamiliar voice say, "Well, well… ain't this tha coziest scene ya eva saw?" We looked up to see a face staring at us, upside down, from on top of our box. It was a cat, roughly our age, perhaps older. He was a mismatch of all colours and patterns, which made him look a bit like someone threw paint all over him. "Ya in my box, ya know," he said quietly, in an accent that wasn't unknown to us: Cockney.  
  
"Oh!" I said, standing up, "I'm sorry… there was no one here see, so we thought that-"  
  
The strange cat laughed. "S'all roight, guv," he remarked, leaping down and facing us. He circled us, looking us over. "Oi'm Rastus. Noice ta meetcha." He eyed Vicki and Jemi. "'Allo ta *you,* luvs," he said smoothly. Plato and I growled softly and he looked up. "Sorry mates," he said, giving us a lopsided grin, "Oi ain't tha type o' guy ta steal another tom's… wares." He plopped down on his haunches and looked at us. "Ya new to tha Alley, ain't ya?"  
  
I nodded, apparently the spokescat for our little troupe. "We've come here to look for a friend," I explained.  
  
"Anyone in pahticula or jus' browsin'?"   
  
"It's our friend Etcetera," Vicki piped in, "She ran away and we think she may have come here."  
  
"Etcetera…" Rastus muttered to himself.  
  
"Have you heard of her?" Plato asked.  
  
"May a' seen 'er," the multicoloured tom replied, "She a bit short? Whoite with yella an' brown an' such stroipes? Kinda an 'yper thing?"  
  
"That's her!" Jemi confirmed, "Have you seen her?"  
  
"Yeh, surely 'ave," he replied, "Saw 'er get 'ere yestaday, early loike. 'Eard 'er talkin' ta a couple o' toms about 'ow she was lookin' fuh work 'ere 'cause she felt loike nobody luved 'er." Then he eyes us. "Say… ya said you was her friends… why would she feel loike no one cared about 'er?"  
  
"It's a long story," I said, "Basically, she's infatuated with a tom that's part of our tribe… and he's got a mate, see. She got jealous when she saw them together and…  
I dunno, I guess that made her feel worthless, like no one could ever love her."  
  
"Typical of a queen," Rastus remarked. "No offense luvs, no offense," he quickly said when Vicki and Jemi gave him disapproving looks.  
  
"So do you know where she is?" Plato asked, impatient, "Can you tell us where she is?"  
  
"Roight shur," the Cockney cat replied, "Oi can take ya to 'er. 'Course, uh…" he continued, looking suddenly sly, "It's gonna cost ya."  
  
I sighed. "What do you want?" Rastus grinned.  
  
"Ya gonna finish 'at toast?"  
  
~*~  
  
"Can Oi intraduce you please, to a lump o' chedda cheese?" Rastus sang happily to himself as he tripped down the street. We followed, anxious to get to Etcy.  
  
"Ugh… does he ever stop?" Plato muttered as our new colleague launched into another rowdy, "Vindaloo! Vindaloo! An' we all loike Vindaloo!"  
  
"Apparently not," I answered. We had been walking for the better part of an hour, and it seemed that Rastus was merely taking us on a leisurely stroll through the Alley. It seemed dead and empty during the day, but we knew fully well what it turned into when the sun set.  
  
"Um… Rastus?" Jemima asked timidly.  
  
"Yes, luv?"  
  
"Uh… I don't mean to seem rude or anything… but… how much longer till we get there?"  
  
"Jus' a lil' bit, luv. If mem'ry serves, t'ought t' be 'round these pahts somewheres." We rounded a corner. "Ah, 'ere we ah!" We looked around. It seemed fairly clean, if not welcoming. There were several queens lounging around inside a large hole in a wall. There were all breeds, shapes, sizes, and ages, and none of them looked too happy. I scanned the group until my eyes fell on the queen I was looking for.  
  
"Etcy!" I exclaimed. But for some reason it didn't look like Etcy at all. Her eyes were shadowed, she seemed thin, and the ever-present smile that graced her face was gone. She squinted at me.  
  
"M…Misto?" she said, her voice quavering. Then I seemed to come into focus. "Misto!!!" She ran toward me and jumped on top of me, purring up a storm. "I'm so happy to see you!!!"   
  
I laughed as I hugged her. "Obviously!" She climbed off of me and looked at the others.  
  
"You're all here too!" Her eyes welled up with tears. "What are you all doing here?"  
  
"We came to look for you, Etcy!" Jemi exclaimed, "We were worried about you! You just ran off without telling anyone where you were going… and you came here… oh Etcy, *why*!?"  
  
Etcy's eyes fell. "Well… I just kinda felt like…"  
  
"Loike no one cared 'bout ya?" Rastus piped up. All four of us turned to glare at him. "All roight, all roight, not my business, stayin' out as o' now."  
  
"Not that *no one* cared about me," Etcy continued, "Just that… ya know, that I'd never get a mate. Who'd want me?"  
  
"Well, at least one tom that I know of," I answered, thinking of Admetus.  
  
She blinked. "Tugger!?" I hated to see the light of hope go out of her eyes, but I shook my head. Her face fell.  
  
"Etcy…" Vicki said tentatively, "You do know that he's *not* the only tom in the tribe… don't you?"  
  
"Etcetera," I cut in, before she could answer, "Come back with us. You've got nothing to gain here. Nobody here will love you, trust me. We care about you. And I know that you… admire Tugger. But as you grow up, maybe… you know, maybe you'll find that your affections lean toward someone else."  
  
She considered. "Yeah, maybe you're right…" Then she smiled. It was good to see her smile. "OK! I'll come back!"  
  
We breathed a sigh of relief. One thing about Etcy, she was persuadable.   
  
"Aw… now if this ain't touchin', Oi dunno wot is." We seemed to have forgotten our Cockney friend. "Noice t' see 'at she'll be comin' back witcha," he said, giving us a toothy grin.  
  
"Yes… yes it is," I replied. I returned his smile. "Thanks for helping us."  
  
"Oy, t'was no problem. Always willin' t' 'elp someone out, if they'll pay me. 'At was great toast, guv." He flashed them a grin. "Any toime ya need some 'elp with anythin', jus' let me know, aight?" And with that, the Cockney tom was gone.  
  
I smiled after him, then turned to Etcy. "You ready to go?" She nodded happily and we started toward home.  
  
"Hey Etcy…" Plato said conversationally, "What do you think of Admetus…?"  
  
~*~  
  
It was Etcy's birthday, and the whole junkyard was celebrating. Most hadn't known she was gone; Tugger had actually kept his mouth shut. There was singing and dancing and general revelry in honor of Etcy's special day.  
  
I was watching the from the sidelines, enjoying seeing the kittens running around with ribbons in their mouths. "Having a good time?" someone asked behind me. I turned and saw Jemima smiling at me.  
  
"Absolutely," I murmured as she curled up beside me. We watched the festivities, idly purring.  
  
"Daddy, Daddy, look!" I glanced in the direction of the voice. A small tuxedoed kitten ran up to me with a bright blue ribbon in his mouth. "Lookit I stole from Uncle Tugger!"  
  
Uncle Tugger. I sighed and smiled, "That's great, Rastus," I told him, "But I bet you couldn't take one from Aunt Bomba, could you?"  
  
My son shook his head. "No way, Dad, I'm not *that* brave!" I laughed and he ran off.   
  
Jemima snuggled into my chest and we continued watching the party. Our friend was safe and sound, and we all lived happily ever after.  
  
Just like I'd always dreamed.  
  
~Fin~ 


End file.
